I specifically said that I wanted this relationship to be my soulmate relationship. I felt ready in that I was in a really good place in my life, emotionally and otherwise — I was happy and excited about my life and also ready to share that with someone else. : )
I had a short little feel-it-real session where I describe how I imagined resting my cheek in my boyfriend’s hand and also feeling his hand caress my hair. The gestures, though simple enough, felt so profoundly loving and really encapsulated for me the dominant feelings I wanted to experience in this relationship. It wasn’t so much a visualization as it was just an emotional experience tied to physical gestures – it was short but deep. I really felt a shift after I finished this little experience — I felt that he had somehow arrived.
The next thing I did was pull some pictures from my Pinterest page that emotionally matched how I wanted to feel in my relationship. I include some of these at the end of the video, but there were at least twice as many. I spent a couple of hours, over a few days, making these photos. I originally intended to set them to music, like a Mind Movie, but I only got so far as adding text to the photos. Ultimately, I enjoyed the process so much, that it really didn’t matter that they never became a Mind Movie — they felt powerful enough just as they were.
I met my boyfriend really soon after this, though I sincerely just thought I had met my best friend. We were platonic friends for a couple of months before I sort of dramatically woke up one day while we were out together and realized that this person whom I had thought was my really close friend, was suddenly making my heart explode! He took my hand at one point and I never saw him the same way again.
It really has felt like Sleeping Beauty, and I was awakened to this incredible dream of love right in front of me.
It’s true that even though it feels so supportive and healthy and conscious, and even though it feels like someone looked at my most sincere dreams and sculpted an amazing man out of them, it still requires work and growth.
I told him that I read somewhere that love is like a powerful detox in that it brings out all the impurities to be dissolved. I see all my insecurities and fears very clearly, and it’s not always super comfortable, but we both are really supportive of each other in learning to process and heal these residual emotions we both experience. And I’m so thankful for that– It feels like a true partnership in that way (and so many others).
We’re still learning each other, still learning our balance, but it’s such a different experience when you’re with someone who also has a healthy relationship with himself, who is willing to be open and vulnerable and honest, who is also strong and deeply compassionate. It has felt really good to grow more deeply into our true selves, together. : )